LETTERMAN: The Top Ten Reasons Joe Biden Dropped Out Of The Race

David Letterman:

Oh, last night, this was fun. Last night, we loaded up the Prancing Fluids. We call them that, Prancing Fluids. We call them the Prancing Fluids because we want to; that’s the only reason. That’s the only reason we call them that. We loaded them up last night with Scope, and the liquid was green and it was lovely.

So tonight, we’re going to load it up with Lavoris, I guess, right? Bring it out here, boys, and it’ll be red. So let’s see, where is the Lavoris? And again, how many, uh, boy, it smells like I just had my teeth cleaned. How many bottles of Lavoris did we use?

200. 200 bottles, and roughly this is how many gallons? Any idea? 20 gallons. 20 gallons of Lavoris. Here are the empty containers. Thank you, Biff. Thank you very much. 20 gallons of Lavoris. Oh, there’s more to come. Alright, so we’ll load it up and turn it on.

20 gallons. Now, when you go in to buy 20 gallons of Lavoris, what is the reaction? Do they, uh, I guess they back away, don’t they? Alright, well, that looks great already. Okay, thank you very much, gentlemen. Are we all set? Alright, we’ll turn it on now, ladies and gentlemen, the Prancing Fluids, 20 gallons of Lavoris. Ready, Paul? Here we go.

[Applause] [Music]

Smells like the Dannon factory blew up. I don’t even know what that means. Here we go, it’s our top 10 list tonight. Tonight’s category, from Scottsdale, Arizona: Top 10 Reasons Joe Biden Dropped Out of the Race. What was the deal on this guy, by the way? These Democrats seem to keep shooting themselves in the foot, don’t they? Whatever they do, they do. Here we go, top 10 reasons Joe Biden dropped out of the race.

Number 10: To promote his new album, Bad. Number 9: Plans to spend more time with his imaginary coal miner relatives. Number 8: He accidentally delivered Nixon’s resignation speech. Number 7: Realized he didn’t have a chance against the Gibart Juggernaut. Number 6: His term paper business is really taking off. Number 5: Could not pronounce “Ich bin ein Berliner.” Number 4: Finally got tickets for the last leg of the Dead tour. Number 3: Decided to run for presidency of the Hair Club for Men. Number 2: The new Monkees are on TV now, and a man has just so much time. Number 1: Wants to chase skirts full-time with Gary Hart.

[Applause] [Music]

Well, it worked. It worked! That’s the first time. We were like 0 for 5 or something the first two or three days. It worked, but we couldn’t really see that. That was Robert C. Wright’s office, the man who runs the show here. That’s right. And Robert C. was in there playing with his little bunny friend, feeding him a donut. Oh, I see, that’s right. There he is again. Yeah, yeah, okay. Make sure Miss America doesn’t leave, will you, Morty?

RELATED REPORT:

RARE VIDEO: David Letterman LOVED Donald Trump!

You’re going to love this.

So I have to admit something…

I was a huge David Letterman fan.

Always thought he was hilarious.

Genuinely funny and I loved how he would interview and joke with guests.

If Leno was your polished, plain vanilla comedy, Letterman had all the jagged edges….and the edges were hilarious.

But then something happened.

As he got older, he got more political and started going far left.

And with that move the comedy started to disappear.

Because comedy can’t exist when you’re too full of anger and political ideology.

So I want to you try and forget about the David Letterman of today and I want to take you back to the David Letterman of the 1980s.

When Letterman was in his prime….and when David Letterman LOVED Donald Trump.

Those are not my words, that comes straight from Letterman himself in this clip.

Watch and enjoy:

⭐️ CLASSIC: Dave Letterman Asks Donald Trump To Build Him A New Office pic.twitter.com/MbMjTZbDeM

— DailyNoah.com (@DailyNoahNews) May 20, 2023

Backup here on Rumble:

Here are a couple more…

Watch this one from 1992:

And one of the earliest ones in 1986: